Common encounters of the stupid kind

General
1

Most shifts I’ve observed repeating patterns play out, in no particular order they are repeated without fail and are done by different people. Most happen every shift. From point of view of security:

-Someone rushes map specific loot, gets caught and argues that it’s “maints loot” so it’s their right to keep as they found it, despite it being a gun/ammo/syndicate gear/combat armor/melee weapon

-A greytider with full toolbelt and insuls, uses them to break into a room, starts a shift-long grudge when their tools/gloves/weapons are confiscated

-Lawyer scoops any gear not nailed down in brig, flashes, cuffs, armor, sechuds. Tries to “sue” exclusively security members when any gear is confiscated from them or greytiders.

-At least 3 people will hug the brig door and rush in the second it opens, usually mimes, clowns, musicians, greytiders, any job without a work department. They will never leave unless forcibly removed, then they will spend the rest of the shift loitering in front of brig and throwing trash everywhere.

-THAT guy with boxing gloves that punches people in hallway then screams how it’s just stamina damage (it’s not), gets pissed when someone fights back and punches them or arrests them for it

-“hallway patrollers” that will spend entire shift walking in the hallways, rarely ever entering their department, usually wearing EVA gear, insuls, full toolbelt and some sort of melee weapon or a gun in their bag

-opportunistic “pullers” during arrests. More often than not, if there is anyone nearby when I’m arresting someone, they will immediately drag them/me a pixel away to interrupt the attempt.

-a guy with networking tool linking all lights/airlocks and toggling them from a safe place

-someone repainting every accessible airlock

-warden/hos roundstart bolting armory/half of brig entry doors/all maints, power goes out and is surprised they can’t get to guns or leave brig

 

 

And my personal favourite:

  1. syndicates openly using explosives/guns/killing people

  2. warden/hos refuses to give out lethals to officers because “it’s not red alert”, keeps carrying a lethal firearm themselves

  3. if lethals are miraculously given out, the second any syndicate dies they will ask for all guns back, all green, there’s no more threat possible (lol)

  4. repeat 2. until warden and hos dies because nobody from security officers but them can be trusted with a lethal gun

2

  • Be a syndie. Commit crime. Get robusted. Security doesn’t bother reviving and properly sentencing you, they just execute you by leaving you to get dragged off by random tiders/chefs. Without captain and HoS approval.

  • Hamlet getting microwaved for no reason.

  • Lawyers not realizing they work for the HoP, not security. That security access is a privilege and that they can not just steal a baton and cuffs and larp being an officer of the law.

  • Tiders getting mad when you confiscate their full tool belt and insuls after they get arrested for crime.

  • Chemists just farting out huge piles of pills, then disappearing for the rest of the shift like their work is done.

  • Salvage acting like they need five X-ray cannons, three laser cannons, anti-material rifles and other Central Command level gear to take on two carps and a dragon.

  • Most civilian jobbers complaining about getting killed by antags, yet every time they even have a remote chance of disarming an antag they rush in.

 

3

Quote

Tiders getting mad when you confiscate their full tool belt and insuls after they get arrested for crime.

you should only confiscate tools and insuls if you think theyre stolen or theyre used to hack stuff not just because you want to fuck with someone

 

Quote

Most civilian jobbers complaining about getting killed by antags, yet every time they even have a remote chance of disarming an antag they rush in.

in lrp nobody has any kind of value for their own life its kinda sad but i do this too all the time

4

security is entirely within their right to yoink tools and especially insulated gloves from unrelated jobs and especially if they’re committing crimes

5

You know, I completely agree with everything you said. I think that nobody should do anything except their job, tiders should sit in the bar the entire shift, and get executed if they try to acquire any kind of tool, security should also get enclave power armor and xray cannons round start, all maint loot should be removed from every map, syndicates should not be able to go loud at all and do nothing except their objectives, and if they try go loud they immediately get appeal-banned.

6

3 hours ago, RatherLargeGuy said:

You know, I completely agree with everything you said. I think that nobody should do anything except their job, tiders should sit in the bar the entire shift, and get executed if they try to acquire any kind of tool, security should also get enclave power armor and xray cannons round start, all maint loot should be removed from every map, syndicates should not be able to go loud at all and do nothing except their objectives, and if they try go loud they immediately get appeal-banned.

Do you think writing the opposite of what you wish to communicate helps you in some manner to communicate?

7

14 hours ago, RatherLargeGuy said:

You know, I completely agree with everything you said. I think that nobody should do anything except their job, tiders should sit in the bar the entire shift, and get executed if they try to acquire any kind of tool, security should also get enclave power armor and xray cannons round start, all maint loot should be removed from every map, syndicates should not be able to go loud at all and do nothing except their objectives, and if they try go loud they immediately get appeal-banned.

Doesn’t all of that sound a bit too far?

8

The loot rushing is reconised as a issue, and its kinda being improved by removing guaranteed maints loot in favor of locker chance maints loot.

So it’ll be less often which is a improvement.

Also people responsible for issue 4 and 7 probably should have the book thrown at em for being shitters law/sec wise. Wish there was more that could be done but LRP tends to be shitter hell for sec sometimes.

Also Ahelps can help if anyone keeps being a pain throughout the shift/shifts.

9

Well uhh, that is actually not someting that should be made ever.

Otherwise why the fuck you add l6saw to the uplink?, and a c-20 for 17 tc?

10

Half of the things you described can be ahelped as metagaming, validhunting, self-antagging or being a dick. If you report them via ahelp, these will happen less frequently. Or you can play MRP - these things happen less often on Salamander, plus there are some non-official servers that are also MRP.