(This will extend to game server and Discord if viable. Otherwise, I can make a separate post for the latter.)
Ban reason: Abusiveness toward volunteers.
Length of ban: Appeal-only.
Events leading to the ban: In Discord I was critical of the lack of admin response to a rule question that at the time was unanswered. Metalgearsloth replied to something I stated to which I responded to with an off topic/unwarranted reply, then leaving the server. I was summarily banned from both the Discord and in-game for my actions.
Reason the ban should be removed: To double up on an issue presented in the past by freeman in regards to a previous ban, I can and have taken the game too seriously. All I can state to this point is that my life circumstances have changed drastically and have placed me in a position of exponentially greater mental health and self-identity.
I do not think that my criticality of the handling of the question should have been so heavily lauded by Sloth - however, in an effort to empathize I cannot feasibly understand how many people blame admin teams, developers, and the like for the lack of elements, be that ground rulings on specific issues or content or otherwise. I will also state that the admin who compelled the question is no longer on the team. Not with any longstanding feeling of vindication do I think that my question was largely reactionary and ultimately confrontational to an unnecessary extent. If the question is unanswered, so be it, I really should not have so much weight in the hypothetical scenario of a collection of pixels. For this I genuinely apologize.
My words were also misunderstood through my own fault - I’d mentioned that I was the longest time player, but I misspoke. (longest time player construing that I’d played for 2k hours, *not* that I’ve played historically the longest.) I’ve been outwardly critical of a few admins in the past but never took it to Discord to express discontent in the way I had, and furthermore should never be overly critical of one who spends times deliberately attempting to alleviate issues, even if I disagree with them at the time, as rulings can always change and conversations can always be had to find middle ground.
I apologize to Kayek who I yelled at when they called me out, rightfully so, for breaking into the high tech vault on Box when I brought back a multitude of materials for cargo after a conversation over rushing insulated gloves. That was really unfair, you’ve always been a kind admin, and you’re just looking out for other players who don’t get a chance for gamer loot because Sosa™ keeps rushing the Gamer Gear™. I can try to rationalize my behavior “that other people won’t find it,” but that just means I can look for it 10-20 minutes down the road and focus on other things… Like roleplaying, or my job.
I apologize to Metalgearsloth for telling them “good luck on your sound issues lmao” before leaving the Discord, as this was during a time when sounds were all around having issues, the game seems to have less project managers/as hardcore contributors due to forks or otherwise burnout and pissing off one of the very few is a dogshit move. I can be an asshole, but for everything I complain about, I’ve never had so much fun, and I know you’re inherently one of the few people to thank. I can and will be more grateful and less inflammatory in future interactions, regardless of the outcome of this ban appeal.
I apologize to LordEclipse for insinuating that they were babysitting an unfair rule infraction when they’d just gotten on and were assessing the situation in an objective manner.
I realize I can be overly critical and I apologize that it manifested into one of my favorite hobbies because of how obsessively I handled something as simple as a response of volunteer time. I did not mean for this to manifest into vitriolic actions towards the staff who has provided innumerable experiences and want to better my actions/speech wherever viable.
If and when I feel a judgement is unfair pales in comparison to how many times people have likely been told that I was within rights to perform actions I’d done in the past via self defense, antag actions, or otherwise. I came from watching Ssseth’s SS13 video, cramming out space drug pills as a non-antag mime to trying to make narrative artifact videos. I believe that change in attitude is possible and want to remain open to it, I do not want to be cynical and abusive. I’ll cool my jets from here on out, whether or not I’m accepted in either medium. Peace.